


Re-Recruit

by karakael



Category: GaoGaiGar
Genre: Alternate Universe - Police, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 20:25:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6299122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karakael/pseuds/karakael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Renais has the dubious pleasure of being pranked by 3G and their newest recruit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Re-Recruit

**Author's Note:**

> From tumblrs OTP Prompts: "In a universe where your OTP has never met, one appears in the other’s bed […] saying “I’ve been sent here to seduce you.”

Renais’s gun was out the second she saw that her apartment door was open. Hundreds of possibilities ran through her head of dire scenarios; perhaps Bio-Net had found her, perhaps someone had paid off the locals to sabotage her room, maybe she was bugged by a very, very incompetent PI…she mentally prepared for all of them when she pushed to door open the rest of the way.

Instead, the very last thing she could have ever imagined greeted her; a man perhaps four years her senior, with bright green hair, tight pants, and no shirt lounging suave on her couch.

At least, that was what the scene looked like at first. Renais immediately took in a second scan, which indicated the stiffness in the expression on the man’s face and a piece of paper with what looked like instructions clutched in his tense hand. His whole stance screamed ‘act’ - and not a very good one at that.

That’s when she started looking for a camera, wondering what imbecile at Tokyo Interpol had set this farce up.

She didn’t drop the gun, of course, but she relaxed slightly as she slid into her apartment and shut the door behind her with a kick.

“Who are you?” She demanded, eyes still scanning the room, looking for anything else out of place. It was hard to look at the man too long, given that he was exactly her type and she was now close enough to appreciate his musculature…among other things.

“That doesn’t matter. I - ” The man paused, then continued on, clearly reading lines from a script - “I’ve been sent here to seduce you.”

The expression on his face said it all; the stoic gritting of teeth as he said the line, the bare attempts at trying to be sultry, forced deepness in his voice, the utter horror in his hidden eyes…

But she wasn’t completely ignoring the possibility that this could be a new tactic from Bio-Net, though it had all the marks of a prank from Interpol’s 3G squad.

“Right, and how do you expect to do that with a bullet in your brain?”

The man swallowed, but didn’t seem scared. Nor did he break his position. Who ever he was, he must have some experience to react so calmly to someone with a loaded gun pointed at him. Especially when he said his next line.

“All you need to know is that I am your ~personal love slave~” He tried not to wince at the line but failed. “And your every wish is my command.”

She tried not to laugh. It wasn’t an amusing situation. But the damn fool looked so unhappy, spread out on a couch that was two sizes two small for his lanky frame, in cloths that had clearly been pulled from some kind of prop closet, and his fringe falling over his eyes to hide his mortified expression.

She stifled a giggle, then saw the glint of reflected light from behind her television. Bingo.

She dropped her gun to her side and fished in one of her utility-belt pouches, carefully not looking in the direction of the camera.

“My 'wish’ is to know your name before I kick you out on your ass.” 

Silence.

“What, is that not in your script?”

He swallowed again, Adam's-apple bobbing in his throat. “Protocol states that escorts must never reveal their true name. You can call me…Pizza.”

Now she knew who was behind that. The man sounded if he was reading out of a Vice Crime protocol book. And only one man could come up with a code-name that stupid.

Her hand found the trace and she circled towards the television, thumbing the device into life by memory alone. “So you’re an escort? Who do you work for?”

Another pause, while the man once again tried not to gag from his lines. He gritted his teeth. “The…Red Planet Escort Services is happy to have your business, and for a repeated customer such as yourself - ” gulp “we have included an extra full-service option. With your nightly session we offer - ”

But Renais didn’t hear what the man stuttered out, going green in the cheeks, as she whirled and pounced on the camera. The tracer went green, proving that the device was a 3G plant and on a government wavelength…all she needed to know before she screamed into the camera.

“Hyuuma, get your ass down here!”

—————

Ten minutes later the whole 3G office staff trooped into her apartment, lead by one operations chief with his ears still ringing from Renais’s scream. They at least had the grace to look a bit sorry, but most of them couldn’t help but break into giggles occasionally when they caught sight of her or the true victim of the prank, one of the newest 3G recruits, J Soldato.

In the interim, as 3G had shut down the surveillance van and trooped up the stairs to her apartment, Renais had cleaned the poor man up, finding him a big coat to wear over the near-criminally tight pants and bare shoulders and fixing him a cup of coffee in apology. From what she’d seen of him, J was far too serious to be around a prankster like Hyuuma.

“It is necessary for all 3G members to be certified in 'vice’ crime as well as all other aspects of police work.” The recruit had said, and that alone earned a double-intensity glare at Hyuuma when the man finally arrived. “If I wish to be a member of 3G, I must do the same training as everyone else…”

“What a load of bull.” Hyuuma winced as she repeated her self again, at the same loud volume she had used the first time she heard the story. The specialist was still hearing tinnitus from when she had screamed into his headphones.

“You’re damn lucky I didn’t blow his brains out!” She continued. “What kind of unprofessional, arrogant, idiotic - ”

“I already said I was sorry.” J interjected stiffly. “I promise I will do better next time - ”

“I wasn’t talking to you!” She snapped, then did a double take. “Wait. What do you mean, next time?”

———-

“You’re our new Vice chief, right?” Hyuuma leered, eyeing her coffee pot then wincing when she whisked it away. “So he needs your approval before he can complete training.”

“That’s right!” Swan piped up cheerfully, clip-board at the ready. “He can never become a full member without real-world experience…”

“And you think I’d approve him if you shoved him half-naked into my apartment and told him to seduce me?!”

Hyuuma shrugged and grinned. “Well, he believed it.”

What did he do to piss off Hyuuma so much? Renais wondered, looking over at the miserable bunch of feathers that was apparently her newest recruit. Hyuuma hadn’t been this mean since Renais herself had joined the force, too young to get any respect and confident enough to demand it from people ten years her senior.

“Fine. He’s mine now.”

The 3G crew silenced, and J looked up.

“…what do you mean, Renais?” Mikoto asked.

“Well, you gift-wrapped him, and clearly don’t deserve his skills…so yeah, he’s mine now. i deserve that much in apology, right?” She glared until they all nodded. “Until he gets his Vice certification, you createns are loaning him to me, got it? Now get out of my apartment.”

The whole group got up to leave, including J.

“No, you stay.”

Swan paused, shooting a surprised glance over her shoulder, but fluttered after the others at Renais’s expression. J sat back down.

“First things first; lets teach you how to properly put on escort makeup…”

——-

Three hours later, Renais sat back, satisfied at her handiwork. The former soldier was a quick learner, and now knew all the basics of the job - the real basics, not the trumped up theory that Hyuuma and the rest knew. He was still the absolute last person you would want on undercover work, though. He took his job very seriously, making him the perfect target for pranks like Hyuuma’s, and wasn’t good at reading social situations. But as backup Renais suspected he would be magnificent, and a real asset to her team.

J sat back as well, rubbing his eyes and smudging the remains of his glittery makeup. He’d been taking careful notes and asked half a million quiet questions, and had finally unbent enough from his stoic embarrassment to occasionally smile. Renais tried not to think about how nice the wry smile looked on his lean face. Nor did she want to think about that lanky body spread out over a much more appropriately sized piece of furniture…like her bed. Luckily she was as much a professional as the ex-soldier, or else it would have been damned hard to keep the proper professional attitude when they saw each other during the workweek…

“So…do I still need to be certified as a honey pot?” He asked, drawing her mind back to the subject at hand.

“Oh, no. Ignore everything Hyuuma said; you stand out too much to be a convincing call-boy. You don’t need to do that to be part of Vice.”

“Oh. Pity.”

She shot him a questioning look.

“I had been looking forward to trying again.” He smiled up at her through his fringe, not the embarrassed smile of a wet new recruit, but the smirk of a man who knew exactly what he was proposing. There was no stiffness in his shoulders or tension in his brow…just the certainty that Hyuuma and the rest had stifled by throwing him out of his depth. 

Renais took everything she had said back. Soldato J was damn good at seducing, if he wanted to be.


End file.
